If you happen to stumble upon this entry, then I warn you that if you are looking for some amazing, well written, and inspirational items, you are likely to be sorely disappointed. Though, if you are ok with reading the ramblings and thoughts of a clinician who often likes to brain dump on things, then you may enjoy as well as be sorely disappointed. Either way, welcome to this space.
To clear up some of the more ethical pieces of things, please be advised that this blog entry and future blog entries are written by Joey Collins and do not reflect the views and opinions of the other therapists and clinicians here with JC Counseling. That being said, these entries are not so much opinion pieces on hot topic items, though as mentioned above, ramblings and thoughts, with some possible light opinion pieces sprinkled in.
What were we talking about again? Oh, right, perspective! A word we have heard tons about all through various stages of our lives. When we were children, how often did we get asked “well how do you think that made your friend feel?” or the ever so popular phrase with moms in the 80’s and 90’s “ok so if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you go and do it too?!” (I bet you read that in your mothers voice in your head didn’t you?). How we see things is clearly the concrete definition of perspective, because, well sight and all that good stuff.
Though, lets take a look at things (no pun intended) from an Existential lens. This is fresh on my mind because it is the lesson I am on this week with my students, and it always leads me into a very deep thought and reflection. A lot of people who seek out therapy are wanting to better some sort of relationship with themselves or with other people. When we get deep into this Existential thing, and put aside that looming fear of death and mortality, we explore if there are relational pieces that are being satisfied. When we explore relationships, how many people can you think of right now and complain about things they do, or have said, or ways they acted? Sure is easy to do right? Now, for the line of thinking with this blog title……think about what did you contribute to the relationship that may have also played a role in where things went bad. Also, take this time to give yourself praise for thinking about what you contributed to help nurture that relationship too. I often find myself reflecting on relationships, be it my family, clients, students, or friends and thinking about is there anything more I can add to this relationship. Have I wronged anyone? Have I not been present? Did I do or say anything that may have hurt someones feelings? Did I totally crush it with the kids by surprising them with ice cream? You get the point.
I think when we take the moment to reflect on how we are adding to or possibly inhibiting relationships with other people it drives us to be the best version of ourselves that we can. This then, I think at least, spills over into our attitudes and ways we treat those in our communities. Community here can be large like our city or as small as say our work environment. Make the most of your time with those around you and do what you can to add to the relationships that you have in life. Taking that perspective of others as well as yourself could lead you to discover things about yourself that you never knew were meaningful to you.